Chronic Fatigue Life

Bloody hope not, it takes ages to get anywhere these days and it’s full of idiots trying to get there quicker! So a little about mee, I have the pleasant and lovely chronic fatigue and he has been my partner for 5 strong years. I say he as only a condition this ignorant, bull headed, persistent, and dumbfounding could be male. That’s not disrespecting females, definitely a compliment I would say.Right here is my mushy advice, take it or leave it but it works for me.
Along the way I have removed some of life’s little worries, my mind is a lot clearer without the stress of worrying about what lies ahead. Look after yourself and your loved ones. In my experience it does not take money to do that, affection, hugs, listening, empathy, understanding, being reasonable, and it all being two way are more important than anything. 

As a person I hate that differences cause fear and hate, as someone that lives with a disability I find it hard to explain myself. Then I ask why do I have to explain myself, it’s me and this is who I am. Life is strange like that, as you get older the less people listen and the more they assume. It’s rare to find the good ones that listen and when you do they are like gold dust. For this reason I try and listen and be there, even when it is a complete stranger. Although sometimes I admit I struggle as my head does not always do what the heart wants, especially with him about. 

For some reason people have forgotten to listen or are too busy to think they need to. Forgetting that the reason humans came together is through communicating through our body language, actions, smells, sounds before speech was a fashion thing is weird when you think about it. Here we all are communicating the shit out of our phones but not listening to the person right next to us, maybe that’s the love of your life, family, a friend but isn’t that strange.

Having your body knock 7 bells out of you, your confidence, ability to live is pretty sh*t. But on the upside it is much better to be alive and living than hiding away, or the worst thing not living at all. On the counter argument I get it when you do hide as sometimes you feel like you have no option. So peace out to you hiders out there, I’m with you and I hope you pop out soon as it’s not too bad and you do have friends and support on the other side.

My hiding took to some extreme levels recently, I took to hiding in my bedroom in my bed. Well, I couldn’t really move but I call it hiding as my body was hiding from the world. Funny when your brain says your fine, but your body thinks otherwise. I call it sober drunkiness, it ain’t pretty, it ain’t great and you can’t blame it on being alcohol what a waste. So he won again but the force is strong in this one and I do not go down, well without a slight fight. Admittedly my fight has somewhat weakened over the years as he put in a good longterm strategy and game plan. Mine was short term, damn it!

So here we are living life on the edge of energy, no energy. It can be quite fun, never knowing when I might not have my legs with me, or my head. Strange when they are physically there and can work with no issues. You get through it, and it gives me a sense of respect for my body and brain that I never had before. Life is a miracle, even when it is messed up and I’m thankful for mine.

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