Sensory Overload

Today I thought I would watch the finish of the Tour De Yorkshire in Scarborough, UK. But my body has had other ideas whilst walking down to the finish, luckily my family has rented an apartment nearby for the bank holiday weekend so I have come back to sit and rest. It is really amazing how I can be happy and have energy and then walk into one busy place and be overloaded. I have spent my life enjoying new things, going places and meeting people. To have a condition which seems to hate all of these really gets to me on days like this. I know it’s not the condition but sometimes it really does feel personal and that I should live in a box away from everyone. At least I recognised my body kicking into fight mode and was able to walk back without the legs giving way. It’s been a hard this last week as I have struggled with most days doing anything. That’s what really gets to me, if you look at inputs vs outputs it is really an unfair equation with CFS. On the bright side I am going to rest up, and hopefully be able to get outside to watch the finish from a distance. Although my body might not like it my mind does like watching and enjoying a good old race with lots of people about. There is nothing to do but pull back in situations like this, someone said to me it is avoidance. Which I think is wrong as you have little choice in the matter and either way is a loosing path, catch 22. The main focus for me is to recognise the cause, pull back from it, have a break and then hopefully retry. It’s not guaranteed to work as sometimes it is impossible to get your energy back as I don’t run with much at the moment. I would like to see how others struggle with these days, and especially food. I am healthy with my food but naturally on these types of days I retreat to fatty and salty based foods. So anyway hopefully I can turn the day around and get back outside. Good thing I have YouTube and TV to keep me occupied, not like I haven’t watched any of that over the last 5 months! πŸ˜€

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